Articles That Should Be From The Onion But Aren't Dept.: Heinz Announces Green Ketchup. Ya see, it's aimed at kids. And it makes perfect sense because, well, everyone knows kids love green food. How'd they come up with this brilliant idea? "Heinz’s research with young focus groups found kids would like to see ketchup in some color other than red, so researchers cooked up several varieties." I can just see the 10-year-olds sitting around saying, "Ya know, what we're really sick of is red. I mean, can't ketchup be a different color?" How did they settle on green? "They tried blue but settled on deep green because 'it has a little more kitchen logic,' Keller said." Ahh, kitchen logic. (via nubbin. yes! the nubbin!)